Tiger Woods: Analysis of an Apology

The first step in recovery is this: We admitted we were powerless over *name your addiction*—that our lives had become unmanageable.

Tiger Woods' life reached bottom in a paparazzi flash a few months ago after his sex scandal was plastered in the news all over the world. Tiger was powerless to a false belief system that comes natural for men with money and fame who turn their backs on their core values, and the spiritual teachings of their upbringing. In his case, he turned his back on Buddha--the faith passed on by his mother. But this isn't an article to argue religious beliefs. Place your weapons of mass evangelism on "safety."

Tiger's most profound admission in his scripted statement in front of millions today revealed brokenness, humility, repentance, responsibility, and finally wisdom in the form of an undeniable need for change. He got it! For many men to arrive at Tiger's ground zero requires all that, and a cry for help to Someone greater than themselves. Tiger stated:

"What I did was not acceptable, and I am the only person to blame. I stopped living by the core values that I was taught to believe in. I knew my actions were wrong, but I convinced myself that normal rules didn’t apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I thought only about myself.

I ran straight through the boundaries that a married couple should live by. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life, and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me.

I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame, I didn’t have to go far to find them.

I was wrong, I was foolish. I don’t get to play by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone applied to me. I brought this shame on myself.

It’s now up to me to make amends. And that starts by never repeating the mistakes I’ve made. It’s up to me to start living a life of integrity.

Achievements on the golf course are only part of setting an example. Character and decency are what really count.

I recognize I have brought this on myself, and I know above all, I am the one who needs to change. I owe to my family to become a better person. I owe to those close to me to become a better man. That’s what my focus will be. I have a lot of work to do. And I intend to dedicate myself to doing it."

That is a man on the war path to reclaiming and re-conquering sacred space. Tiger's new calling to integrity and spiritual values, if stuck to, will lead him back to the path he once knew--one of wholeness, balance and the centeredness he now seeks. By choosing integrity daily through his support system, Tiger will follow through on his new commitments without mixing the standards of "two masters." This Tiger is no longer caged, but free now to strip away the myths and lies of manhood that the system of greed, selfishness and entitlement have taught him. Tiger's shifting mindset as a result of two months of therapy (and the 12-step process that will continue for years) also stripped him of choosing "self" over those he loves. Men who arrive in the same place as Tiger, including the ones I have personally coached, toss in the towel of their old selves by practicing daily habits of the highest standards of authentic manhood—leading from your core as husband and father, pursuing daily honesty and integrity at home and work, and managing themselves through their spirituality and core values. This is what a guy named Paul in the Bible calls a "renewal of the mind."

And therapy? Not very manly, for many, well...manly men who prefer to run away from their emotions. But let me tell you, as a trained helping professional--any man who bows gracefully to therapy, and especially one of Tiger's unbelievable worldly stature, has surrendered for the greater good. Therapy will make you emotionally buff. Tiger's white flag-waving of repentance is not a declaration of weakness. It should be a testimony. Why? Because he's rid of his old self and the skin he lived in. Take note, macho Christians and self-professed religious people:

"In therapy, I’ve learned the importance of looking at my spiritual life and keeping it in balance with my professional life. I need to regain my balance, and be centered so I can save the things that are most important to me—my marriage and my children."

This is what a man does when he's reached an awareness of the perpetual cycle that has kept him chained to sin, addiction and rebellion. He gets back up after the 187th time, shakes it off and finally chooses to walk away from danger permanently. He chooses what matters the most; in Tiger's case--marriage, family and personal well-being, not to mention getting back to dominating golf. Men who reach this state of accountability are a formidable force--they have the edge. This is a man to be reckoned with. Their actions, words, and decisions are now aligned at the core with their highest selves, and most importantly, with their God. Take note:

"Buddhism teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint. Obviously, I lost track of what I was taught. As I move forward, I will continue to receive help because I’ve learned that’s how people really change."

Christians are called to the same standards--including self control as one of the Fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23). The wisest King in the Bible also tells us that "Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control."(Prov. 25:28) Religious leaders and pastors of my faith, who choose to remain in their own destructive path of sexual sin can learn from Tiger's testimony.

We hope, for Tiger's sake, that there's no turning back and that these words are indeed permanent. From my personal experience of having lived in sin, lust and rebellion, and choosing self over God, I am optimistic he's home free.